How Could You, Arthur?
by MidnightSky101
Summary: “Do you think Arthur loves me?”“You know I didn’t mean it, don’t you?”“You’re not my boyfriend, not even my friend, or my master!”“You do not own me.” Slash. I'm rubish at summaries, basically Arthur says mean things about and to Merlin.


**A/N: This is my first Merlin fic, wish me luck and enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own the charaters, or the series, they belong to the BBC. Selfish peole! Hoewever, the plot to the story is mine, no stealing *waggles finger*  
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Arthur and Merlin had been together for sometime, and as far as they knew, nobody suspected anything. How wrong they were.

Aside from the fact that Morgana and Gwen had known before the couple themselves; this was a fact they had learned to accept, there were rumours of their relationship travelling around Camelot.

After a week of hearing the rumours, one of the knights decided to bring it up after training. "Sire, I mean no disrespect by what I say, but there are rumours that you and your manservant are…involved."

Arthur froze, but maintained his 'Princely' composure. "Where did you hear such a thing?"

"People talk, Sire." Another knight said.

Arthur thought a moment. "You could call us 'involved', if you wanted to, I suppose. He just helps me find relief at the end of long days. I never feel right when I do it to young women, it feels like rape, and there's the guarantee that he won't get pregnant." Arthur smiled at the nights, hoping that would be the end of it.

"So he's your little man-whore?" One joked, joining the conversation.

"Of course, what else is he good for? And believe me, he was born to be a whore, his mouth is magical, and he's so tight. But I think the best thing about him is that you can go as hard and as fast as you can, and he'll still beg for more!" The knights cheered at this, Arthur could tell most of them were getting turned on thinking about it, this made Arthur think twice.

"It sounds like you're advertising the boy!" One knight joked.

"Yeah," Another agreed. "For just a small fee, you can come in the same ass as the Prince himself!" The knights laughed, as did Arthur, his doubts washed away.

"Hey, here's the man himself!" One knight shouted and everyone turned to look at the shocked and hurt warlock. Merlin had heard most of the conversation and felt like a hundred arrows had ripped though his heart. The first knight stepped forward to him, wrapped an arm around his waist, and pulled him closer Merlin held the knights upper arms and pushed him gently.

"Hello, Merlin." The knight began in a seductive voice, while stroking Merlin's face. With the encouraging shouts of the other knights, he continued. "You know," He leant in to Merlin' ear. "Arthur isn't the only one who has money. You know where I live, right? I've had a long day." He said, slipping a small bag of money into Merlin's hand as the hand on Merlin's waist lowered and gripped his ass.

Merlin gasped and pushed the knight off of him, knocking him to the ground, and threw the money at him. He looked up for Arthur to defend and protect him, but saw that he was laughing along with the other knights. "Arthur…" He whispered, but no one heard.

"Whoa, feisty! I'll have some of that" Another knight shouted, reaching out and grabbing Merlin's wrist, pulling him slightly. Merlin's eyes hadn't left Arthur's, and now they were pleading, but Arthur didn't move to help.

Merlin snapped and ripped his hand from the knight's, turned and ran. He didn't know where he was going, he just had to get away from them all. He tried to blink away the tears forming in his eyes and ran into someone, knocking them to the floor. Usually he would have stopped to apologise and help them up, but not now.

"Merlin!" The person called, Merlin quickly recognised the voice as Morgana's, but didn't turn around; he had to keep running, like it would erase the memory of what just happened. "Merlin!" She shouted again. He heard her growl in anger but kept running, slowing slightly with fatigue. A hand slipped into his arm as he ran, pulling him to a halt.

"Merlin!" Morgana panted. "What do you think you're doing running into me then dashing off without…" She stopped talking when Merlin turned his head to her and she saw the tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Morgana, I just had to get away." He sniffed. Morgana turned him round completely and gently wiped his eyes.

"Merlin, what happened? What did you have to get away from?" Morgana asked in a concerned tone. Merlin sniffed in response and looked up and down the hallway. "Come with me." Morgana took Merlin's hand and led him back to her chambers.

"Gwen?" She called when she opened the door. The maidservant appeared with her usual bright smile that quickly disappeared when she saw Merlin.

"Merlin, what's wrong?" Gwen asked, stepping forward towards the crying boy.

"Gwen, could you fetch Merlin some water, please?" Morgana asked with a smile.

"Of course." She hurried towards the door.

"No, you don't have to-" Merlin began, but Morgana insisted so he let her go.

"Now, Merlin." Morgana rearranged the pillows on her bed and sat, leaning against the headboard. She patted the space next to her and Merlin hesitated. "I won't bite you." Morgana joked, Merlin nodded and sat down, letting Morgana wipe away tears again. "Now, what happened?"

Merlin hesitated to speak, deep in thought. "Morgana?" He took at shaky breath and tried to stop more tears spilling out of his oceanic eyes. "Do you…?" He shook his head and looked down.

"What is it?" Morgana asked, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Merlin sniffed and looked at her blurred image. "Do you think Arthur loves me?" The tears flowed down his cheeks and Morgana wiped them away again with the sleeve of her dress.

"Oh, Sweetie, of _course _he does." She insisted, hugging the warlock. "Why? What did he say?" She asked in an accusing tone.

"He…he told the knights that I was just there for when he has a long day, that I was his 'little man-whore', and good for nothing else. He said I was born to be a whore and then stood there and watched while the knights grabbed me and offered me money and treated me like a possession." Merlin paused and looked at Morgana. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't burden you with my problems."

"Merlin, you're always thinking of others, don't worry, it's not a burden, and I asked you." Morgana rubbed Merlin's back soothingly, while the other hand rested on his shoulder. "I can't believe Arthur would do something so terrible. I knew he was a pig, but this is…" She shook her head in disappointment.

Gwen crept into sight with a jug of water and a goblet in her hands. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have been listening in." She poured some water into the goblet and offered it to Merlin, then placed the jug on the bed side table. Merlin drank the water slowly, thinking about what he would do next. Gwen perched on the edge of the bed next to him and stroked his hair.

"Morgana, Gwen, what would you do if you were me now?" Merlin looked at them both, almost pleading for an answer.

"That doesn't matter, neither of us _are _you." Gwen said. Morgana wrapped an arm around Merlin's shoulder; Merlin rested his head on hers in return, and fiddled with the material of her dress. He sighed heavily and took a drink.

"What am I going to do?" He asked, wiping away more tears on the back of his sleeve.

"Merlin," Morgana began softly. "I think you already know." Merlin gave her a confused look. "When you ran, you could have run to Arthur, but you didn't." Merlin opened his mouth to argue, but found it was true, there was nothing blocking his path to Arthur, and if he had run to Arthur for protection, he would have told the knights to stop, even if he was a prat about it.

"You're right." He said quietly, more tears escaped his eyes and the girls held him tighter. "Maybe I shouldn't have been with him at all. I thought he was changing for the better, but he's exactly the same as the first day I saw him." Merlin was talking more to himself than the girls now.

"No, Merlin, you've changed him so much." Gwen argued. Merlin shook his head sadly and stood.

"Thank you. Really, I would have never realised this." He smiled at the girls, though his eyes showed his true pain, before he turned to leave.

As Merlin made his way back to Gaius' chambers, he met Arthur. "Merlin, here you are! I've been looking for you everywhere!" Arthur strode towards the young warlock, his arms outstretched.

"I was talking to Morgana and Gwen, sorry." Merlin mumbled.

Arthur raised a brow. "About what happened with the knights," He said casually, sliding his hands down Merlin's arms and taking hold of his hands. "You know I didn't mean it, don't you?" He moved to kiss Merlin's hands, but Merlin pulled them away.

"No, I don't know." He tried to walk around the prince but he caught his arm.

"Merlin?" Merlin didn't look.

"Please let me go." Arthur did without an argument. "Thank you." With that, Merlin left and carried on towards Gaius' chambers, rushing past the knight he saw as he neared Gaius' door.

Arthur watched him leave, then shrugged and headed to his own chambers. 'He'll forgive me tomorrow.' He thought confidently.

-

The next morning, Merlin arrived at Arthur's chambers on time and woke the prince up, shocking him with his punctuality. "What happened? Did Gaius wake you up? There's no way you got up this early on your own." Arthur joked, he stood up and moved to kiss Merlin, but he just walked away. He didn't push him, or hit him, or say anything, he just walked away, and that's the thing that got to Arthur most. Because it meant that Merlin thought of them as master and servant, nothing more, not even friends.

"Your breakfast is on the table, Sire." Merlin said without turning back to the prince.

"Merlin, why are you so mad about what happened? I told you I didn't mean it. And if anything, you should be mad at the knights, not me, they're the ones in the wrong." Merlin stopped getting Arthur's clothes out for a moment but shook the comment off.

"I'm not mad at anyone." He turned to Arthur and placed the clothes on the table. "I'm hurt." He admitted sadly.

"What? Where did they hurt you?" Arthur took Merlin's hand and pushed up his sleeve, but Merlin quickly pulled it away.

"No, you hurt me. You said those things about me, and then you stood there and watched as the knights said those things _to _me! How could you do that?" Merlin stopped when he realised what he was saying and walked to the bed and started making it.

"Merlin, you do realise I'm still the prince, don't you?" Merlin looked at him with disgust and scoffed.

"You do realise what you sound like, don't you?" Merlin retorted.

"Merlin! Don't talk to me like that, and for crying out loud, don't bring that back up, it doesn't even matter and you sound like an idiot for complaining about it." Merlin threw the pillow on the floor at this, stomped to Arthur and slapped him.

"Find yourself a new servant, _Sire, _I quit!" He slammed the door on his way out before Arthur could say anything in return.

Merlin marched quickly through the castle hallways to Gaius' chambers and stormed through the door, making the older man jump and drop a vial.

"Merlin! What in heavens name has gotten into-" The door to Merlin's room slammed shut before Gaius could finish, he heard something crash to the floor but decided against following the younger boy. 'Arthur…' He shook his head and sighed, picking up the vial.

-

"What's Merlin's problem?" Arthur muttered angrily to himself, his hand resting on his cheek. _"I was talking to Morgana and Gwen, sorry."_ Arthur remembered Merlin saying. "Morgana!" He whispered angrily. He strutted out of hi chambers and heading for Morgana's.

"Morgana!" He shouted through the door. Gwen opened the door slightly and Arthur pushed her aside.

Morgana glared at him angrily "Arthur, what do you think you're-?"

"What did you tell him?" Arthur yelled.

"What are you talking about?"

"Merlin, what did you say to him yesterday, he told me had spoken to you! What did you do?" Arthur was taking a step close to Morgana every second.

"He asked what he should do, and I told him he had already decided; he had run away from you, not towards you." Morgana's eyes looked apologetic, but not for Arthur.

"You turned him against me?" He twisted her words.

"I didn't have to, after what you said!" Morgana shouted at the prince.

"Why is everyone taking that so seriously?" Arthur asked, more to himself than Morgana.

"Because Merlin loves you and you hurt him! Then you expect him to just forgive you? Tell me Arthur, what's it like in your world?" Arthur didn't say anything but remained glaring.

"Merlin doesn't _love_ me. We were experimenting, he told me that when he agreed." Arthur insisted.

"Oh, honestly, Arthur! Haven't you seen the way the boy looks at you?" Arthur didn't say anything. "He may have told you he isn't, but he is head over heels in love with you. Even if right now he doesn't want to be, he can't help it." Morgana's voice had softened now as the prince looked at the floor.

"Do you two really talk that much?" He asked after a while. Morgana smiled at him.

"Yes, I know all his secrets." Morgana smiled sinisterly, rubbing her hands together. "No I don't, but I do know he hates you so much sometimes, but he loves you all the time. Which I don't understand, seeing as you're such a prat." Arthur looked up, astonished at Morgana's language.

"Arthur, seriously? Now of all times?" Arthur looked down again, and there was another long silence. "Arthur?" The young prince looked up. "Do you love him?" Arthur looked thoughtful but didn't say anything as he left the room.

Did he love him? How was Arthur meant to answer that? He hadn't even thought of that possibility. They were just experimenting. Nothing more, right? Arthur slammed his chamber door shut and stomped to his bedchamber, collapsing on the bed. How could he possibly love him? Not only was he male, he was a servant, his father would have Merlin killed there and then.

Arthur felt like there were millions of tiny voices in his head, each telling him something different and he didn't know which one to believe. 'I don't love Merlin.' He thought. 'Do I? No! Stop that! I don't! I…'He sighed and hit his head on the pillow. 'Merlin what are you doing to me?'Keeping his mind on track in training today would be tricky.

-

Arthur woke to the sun shining brightly through the curtains of his room. "Mmm!" He rolled of over and saw the light, making sit up quickly. "Merlin! Why didn't you wake me?" He jumped out of bed but paused when he heard no reply from his servant. "Mer-?" _"Find yourself a new servant, Sire, I quit!" _Arthur sat back on the bed and touched his cheek. "Merlin, you really meant that, didn't you?" Arthur chuckled at his own stupidity and rested his head in his hands; he would get up in a while; he just needed to think.

-

Merlin woke with tears rolling down his cheeks and a familiar name on his lips. He dried them quickly, as though they had never been there and thought about the day ahead of him. He could help Gaius be collecting herbs and delivering remedies, since he wasn't working for Arthur anymore. 'Not working for Arthur.' Merlin thought sadly, he sighed and hugged his knees. He would get up soon, when tears stopped threatening to show themselves.

-

Merlin had not been working for Arthur for almost 3 weeks, and Arthur had gotten a new servant. Of course he had, but when he got there in the morning, the prince was always awake already and looking out of the window, watching closely, like he was waiting for something. The servant noticed that after the first week, he only stood at the window in the morning and around mid-day, but always watched the city gates at that time, no matter where he was.

Little did the servant know, the prince was watching Merlin as he left the city of Camelot in the morning and returned for lunch at mid-day, just to make sure that when he left, he was returning safe.

"Sire, your breakfast." The servant said quietly.

"On the table." Arthur did not turn in case he missed Merlin.

"Yes, Sire." He heard him carefully put the tray on the table then walk to the bed to change it.

Arthur smiled when he saw the scrawny figure of Merlin walk across the courtyard, 'Gaius must be overrun with herbs by now.' Arthur thought to himself.

The truth was, however, that he wasn't, for Merlin had not been going to the forest for herbs, but to clear his head, to think things through, and wash in the icy water of the lake so he could feel clean again.

Because, since Merlin no longer worked for Arthur, he had to find a way to earn money. He had been earning more money than he had been when he was Arthur's servant. However, he had not told Gaius where he was getting it from and he was starting to worry.

Morgana had found out how Merlin was earning his money by accident and would have told Arthur straight away if Merlin hadn't practically begged her not to. Instead, she had been trying to get Arthur to _accidentally _find out, but so far had been unsuccessful.

Arthur did find out eventually thought, after a long day, and an even longer, boring meal, he headed back to his chambers lazily but stopped when he heard a strange sound followed by whispering and a giggle that he recognised immediately.

He ran round the corner to find Merlin against the wall with a knight whispering in his ear and slipping some money into his hand. For a second Arthur's princely composure was lost until Merlin's eyes met his and he was back.

He swaggered towards the pair and Merlin gently pushed the knight making him look towards the prince and straighten up. "Sire." He bowed at Arthur who continued glaring at him.

"Merlin," Said boy looked up to him. "What's that in your hand?" Merlin said nothing, but held the money out to Arthur who took it quickly and thrust it in the knight's chest, making him stumble backwards with the force. He glared at him before walking past towards his chambers. "Merlin! Come with me." He commanded.

Merlin folded his arms but followed him, blowing a kiss to the knight and winking as he passed. "See you later." He whispered. The knight smacked his ass as he passed; clearly Arthur heard the sound from Merlin and saw the blush when he looked back.

"Merlin, now!" Arthur shouted from his door. As Merlin approached, he grabbed his neckerchief and threw him in the room, closing the door behind him. Merlin stood up and brushed himself off, while the prince just glared at him.

"What the hell was that, Arthur? You just lost me money!" Merlin pointed out, motioning towards the door.

"Money? Merlin, why-"

"I need to earn money, and like the knights said, you're not the only one with money, and they pay well." Merlin said smugly, whist examining his nails.

"Merlin…" Arthur sounded almost apologetic, then took a breath. "I forbid you from doing anything like this again." Arthur strutted past him, deciding it was the end of the conversation.

"You can't do that! You're not my boyfriend, not even my friend, or my master!" Merlin argued, following Arthur.

"I am your Prince, and you will do as I say." Arthur said, turning quickly to Merlin, fire in his eyes.

"You do not _own _me." Merlin said slowly and strongly.

"If I ever find out you are doing this again, you will find yourself in the dungeons for a month." Merlin didn't say anything, but left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Arthur sighed and collapsed on the bed. 'This is my fault; I shouldn't have said those things.' He thought to himself. 'Damn it!' He threw a pillow across the room and sat up, rubbing his temples.

"Now that's just rude." He heard someone complain. "There's no need to throw a pillow at me."

"Go away Morgana." Arthur muttered, flopping back onto the bed. But instead, Morgana sat next to him, looking at him with sorrow filled eyes. "He really hates me, doesn't he?" Arthur asked, staring at the ceiling.

"Right now, yes. But not forever. Arthur, just apologise." Morgana pleaded for her friend.

"For what? Not letting him be a whore anymore? I don't-"

"No, Arthur, you know as well as I do that you're the reason he did that. You know it's because of what you said." Morgana stood up and looked down at Arthur as he sat up.

"When I said it, I didn't think he'd actually-"

"No, if you'd have apologised, or better yet, not said those things, he'd still be working for you and wouldn't have to have anything to do with any of the knights." Morgana pointed out and Arthur put his head in his hands.

"Crap. I've really messed this up, and Merlin probably won't want to speak to me after that." He shook his head.

"Yeah, you said some pretty strong things."

"How did you-"

"You were shouting _very_ loudly." Morgana sat back down next to Arthur. "You never answered my question before, do you love him?" Arthur thought for a moment.

"I don't know, I don't think I do?" This earned a smack round the head from Morgana.

"You idiot! You don't even know your own emotions! Why do you think you care so much about what he does and why you're so protective of him? Don't you realise it? You've changed so much since you first met him so you could be a better person, how do you know that's not for him? Arthur, you love him as much as he loves you, there's no denying it." Morgana's voice softened towards the end of her speech.

"Why did you ask me if you already knew?" Arthur asked after a few moment of thinking.

"I wanted to see if you could figure it out on your own." She said shrugging. Arthur did not answer, caught up in is own thoughts. "You know, Arthur, maybe you wouldn't have to talk directly to Merlin for him to hear your apology." She smiled at him.

"I want him to hear the apology from me." Arthur explained, not looking at Morgana.

"I know." Arthur looked at Morgana with confusion.

-

The next day, Merlin was returning from collecting herbs, when he was ambushed by his friends. "Merlin, Merlin! Come quick!" Morgana and Gwen grabbed each of Merlin's arms, making him drop the basket, and pulled him to the courtyard, where most of Camelot was gathered.

"What's happening?" Merlin asked the two girls who were grinning from ear to ear.

"You'll see." Morgana linked arms with him so that she had a better hold on him as Arthur walked onto the balcony. "Clearly Uther has no idea about this." Morgana whispered to Gwen behind Merlin's back.

"I'm not staying here if he's-" Merlin struggled against the girls' tight grips.

"No, Merlin, please, at least listen to what he has to say." Gwen pleaded, Merlin sighed but stayed. "Thank you."

"People of Camelot, I have gathered you hear because I have a very important announcement to make." Arthur scanned the crowd and found what he was looking for, so continued. "Everyone makes mistakes, whether it's something you did, something you said, or something you didn't do or say. I made the mistake of doing all of these things. I said terrible things about someone I care for very much, then stood back and watched as others said those things to them. Then I was stupid enough to not apologise. Then yesterday I made it fifty times worse, I won't explain how because there are small children here. But," Arthur looked straight at Merlin who was frozen with shock. "The point is; I'm an idiot." Some of the people laughed at this. "No, really. And I'm so, so about everything I said, didn't say, did and didn't do.

"But that's only part of the reason I've gathered you all here, I have to tell that person something, and I want _everyone…_" Arthur glared at the knights. "…to hear it. So here it is." Arthur took a deep breath and looked away from the crowd for a moment to see his father behind him. 'Crap.' He turned back and swallowed. "I, Arthur Pendragon, am madly and unconditionally in love with Merlin. And nothing anyone can do or say can change that. I just hope he loves me too. Thank you." Uther turned red with rage as his son passed him, leaving the crowd completely shocked, especially one person.

Merlin, who had been held in place during Arthur speech, was now relying on the girls to keep him upright. "Morgana, did you make him…" He motioned to the balcony where Arthur had been standing.

"Merlin, he's Arthur. I don't think anyone could make him do anything." Merlin nodded and took his arms back from the girls. He had to talk to Arthur.

-

Arthur stood in his room, thinking about what he had just said, what if Merlin still hated him? Would he forgive him, eve after that? His thoughts were interrupted by a small knock at the door. He turned to see Merlin in the doorway.

"Usually people knock _before_ thy come in." Arthur pointed out jokily, walking forward.

"It' an improvement to not knocking at all." Merlin smiled, closing the door behind him. Then there was silence.

"That was…that was very brave of you to do. In front of everyone, and your father. But, did you really mean it?" Merlin looked at the floor, suddenly finding it very interesting.

"Of course I did." Arthur insisted, stepping closer. "Every word. I promise." Arthur rested a hand on Merlin's shoulder; the younger man looked up at him.

"Arthur, I love you, so much," Arthur smiled and leaned down to kiss the warlock, but Merlin put his hand up. "But, after that, I don't know if I can trust you with my heart again. I've only just managed to glue it back together." Merlin half-joked.

"Merlin…" Arthur could see Merlin's eyes fill with tears at his own words. "I understand completely. Can we…can we still be friends?"

"Of course. And…since I don't have a job." Merlin looked at the prince hopefully.

"I'll help you find one. Hey, what about working for me as my manservant? My current one's nowhere near as fantastic as the previous one, maybe you could be." Arthur smiled at Merlin, glad that they were friends again, friends…Arthur thought for a moment, his smile fading. "Merlin, if I can earn your trust back, and show you that you won't be hurt again, do you think we could try again?" Arthur asked hopefully.

Merlin thought, looking at his feet again. He looked back up and cocked his head to the side. "Maybe, there's always a chance, probably, eventually." He smiled up at the prince, his prince. 'Definitely.' He thought.

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**A/N: Yay! Okay, so please review and tell me it was terrible of good or whatever!**


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